Is it possible there’s an end in sight to this pandemic? When can we stop wearing masks? We’ve got two approved coronavirus vaccines now, and a change of government that should speed up recovery expeditiously… don’t know about you, but even with a light at the end of the tunnel, our lives have changed forever. The carefree carelessness with which we used to stick our fingers in communal bowling balls, shake hands with strangers, and drink from water fountains in the park feels bizarre, distant, and wrong, and even after the world gets vaccinated from COVID-19 we can’t imagine bringing back old habits like going in to the office when we’re sick, breathing down someone’s neck in a grocery line…. Or not wearing masks.
Yes, hold on to your hats - the masks-making baby company is coming out in favor of wearing masks forevermore. Even though you might be thinking “hey, you’re just experts on baby stuff,” hear us out on this one. Obviously, once it’s safe and you’re not going to kill anyone with your breath, do whatever you want, and #freedom, and #normalcy – don’t come after us trying to tell you what to do. But we should care about other people, even the ones we don’t know. Here’s why we’re wearing masks forever.
Masks like these ones. Did we mention we sell masks? We sell masks.
1. We're still wearing masks because people die of preventable illness in normal years, too
Imagine all the people, for centuries, who died of preventable illnesses and didn’t have to. Have you ever heard of Typhoid Mary? She was a cook in affluent households in the early 1900’s. Mary was an asymptomatic carrier of typhoid fever, went to work anyway over many years KNOWING she had typhoid, and ended up being a superspreader who infected everyone she ever worked with, ultimately leading to the deaths of at least 50 people (and whoever died that they spread it to, and whoever died from that…) from an illness they didn’t have to die from if Typhoid Mary had just…not Typhoid Mary’d.
Oh, Mary. If only you'd had a firm social safety net so you wouldn't have to choose between a paycheck and starvation.
Sound familiar? Hmmm. History continues to repeat itself. Everyone seems to unilaterally agree that Typhoid Mary was a bad thing, but somehow those lines of connection are not being drawn to our current moment. Right now, 4,000+ people are dying of coronavirus every day. That’s more than a 9/11 of preventable death every day. People are dying because emergency rooms are full, because there’s no hospital beds, because there’s not enough health care workers available to care for them.
Remember how panicked we were in March? Let's channel that energy
In a regular year untouched by coronavirus, say, the previous flu season 2019-2020, between 24,000 and 62,000 people died of the flu. (Extremely un-fun fact! If 4,000 people a day die from COVID-19, it takes JUST FIFTEEN DAYS for 62,000 people to die!) How many of those people, usually immunocompromised, caught the flu from a careless colleague who could have stayed home, but didn’t?* Who could have covered their face when they coughed, but didn’t? Who could have washed their hands more diligently, but didn’t?
These habits of care we’ve developed over the pandemic, habits of care that save ourselves and our loved ones the pain of suffering and death, we will keep doing. And that includes putting a piece of fabric over our drippy face holes.
*we know many people can’t stay home. We know there are serious, serious problems with how working people, especially the marginalized, are treated in the United States. We will never minimize or demonize people caught on that wheel. We who can take precautions, must take precautions, to support those who can’t.
We are proud to care about other people.
2. We're still wearing masks because WE don't want to get the flu
We don’t want to BE Typhoid Mary and we don’t want to GET Typhoid Mary’d. It’s really as simple as that. Wearing something over your face holes protects YOU from OTHER PEOPLE’S drippy face holes. Everyone forgets what it’s like to have the flu until they have the flu. Let us jog your memory: it’s like being steam rolled by a pain truck that a demon crafted out of phlegm squeezed from Jabba the Hutt’s bloated corpse. And then you always end up giving the pain truck of Jabba phlegm to the people you love most – your spouses and kids. Save yourself. Save them. Wear the mask and wash your hands, now and forevermore.
3. We're still wearing masks because of anonymity and personal privacy
Broke: running into tepid acquaintances at the grocery store and having to make awkward small talk.
Woke: Seeing tepid acquaintances at the grocery store and carefully avoiding them for 45 minutes.
Bespoke: Wearing a mask and boldly walking past a tepid acquaintance at the grocery store seven different times without being recognized.
Whoooooo are you? Who, who? Who, Who-o-o!
4. We're still wearing masks because of creeps
Ask any woman, literally any woman, for their catcalling story, and you’ll get one that will curl your hair. Being a woman walking outside, in any place and any time, can really suck. If it’s not some dude hollering “SMILE, BABY!” from across the street it’s a creep in a gas station whispering luridly what he’d like to do to your mouth.
Well, now it’s cool and good to wear masks. Now, creeps don’t get access to our appearance. We’re not here for them. Masks can offer many different kinds of protection, and protection from unwelcome attention could be one of them. And let’s say, even with a mask on, some vile slimeball still starts verbally assailing you. Level up your Death Stare with a badass face mask, like some DC Comics antihero just *waiting* for someone to start it.
One badass face mask (not pictured: Death Stare)
5. We're still wearing masks because they look f*cking cool
It was true before the pandemic and it will be true after the pandemic: masks look cool. Superheroes wear masks. Snowboarders wear masks. Supervillains wear masks.
WE REST OUR CASE
Bring a mask into the equation and automatically you’ve got more drama, more intrigue, more mystery, and more dimension to any character, storyline, or setting. We’re bringing that energy into real life. We’re protecting ourselves, our loved ones, and everyone else while looking gorgeously intriguing, swooningly dramatic, and compellingly mysterious.
Maybe she's born with it...maybe it's MASKS
So if you want to save lives, be anonymous, avoid creeps, and look f*cking cool, we hope you’ll join us in wearing masks after the coronavirus pandemic. And if you don’t know what covid mask to buy, we’ve got your back. And if you don’t want to save lives, be anonymous, avoid creeps, or look cool, well… enjoy your Jabba phlegm demon pain truck. We’ll be avoiding you in the grocery store.
BooginHead is a small, independent, woman-owned business that makes the cutest pacifier clips, baby bibs, and face masks. A portion of our monthly proceeds are donated to COVID-19 relief local and nationwide, and to the fight for a more just and equitable world. See our BooginHead Blog for details on that and all of our philanthropic efforts! Happy 2021!